They had me for breakfast.

Correction: They had the sub for breakfast. I didn't get in until 11 a.m. Me they had for lunch.

They liked the writing prompt I had for their bellwork: "Since so many people text and IM, why do we need to teach writing anymore?" A few of them did the required paragraph. But then a couple of seniors who were on a project came up to me and asked me if they could write some questions on the board and have the kids write responses, so I changed the prompt and had everyone write to those questions.

This of course caused confusion, but it wasn't too bad. Maybe the problem was that they thought that if I was going to change my whole lesson plan at the drop of a hat, I didn't know what I was doing and they could get away with anything they wanted - so they just kept trying to get away with more and more. All I know is that there were TWO visits by the principal but neither had any effect lasting more than 30 seconds.

By the time we got around to the creative writing assignment, things had already deteriorated pretty badly so there was not much chance it was going to spark anyone's creative genius. The sub, a tall, distinguished African American with an MBA, tried to help. But the moment he spoke out loud - he had a strong Caribbean accent - they laughed in his face.

What I should have done was set up a positive contingency right at the beginning: If everyone cooperates, you'll have 15 minutes of free conversation time at the end of class. If I don't get cooperation, there will be a grammar worksheet at the end of class. And I probably should have dealt more clearly with disruptions from the very beginning. I fell into the trap of wanting them to like me because I'm the teacher-in-training. One girl began shouting questions and rude comments the moment anyone else started speaking. I ignored her most of the time, but I couldn't completely.

I finally just adopted the "I'm waiting" pose, which ended up highlighting my helplessness. I took away their break time for the rest of the week; I hope my mentor teacher follows through on that, but I'll understand if she doesn't.

I realize this was an extremely difficult situation. I realize I was setting myself up for failure, taking over a class that I have just begun to get to know. I realize that they behaved this way for a few days last week as well, when their regular teacher was in charge. I realize that this is why urban school teachers burn out after an average of two years - and why my mentor teacher is thinking about applying for a transfer. But I still cried on my way out of school.

Mostly, I feel humbled. Maybe I'll do better when it's my classroom and I can establish myself from the beginning. The class gave me a chance - not much of one, but they did give me a chance. I didn't know how to use the chance they gave me.

Hopefully, I planted a few seeds. The fact that they didn't visibly rattle me, maybe, will earn me some respect. If my mentor teacher follows through on the withdrawal of break time privileges, maybe this will end up being a turning point. But for now, all I know is that I have a lot to learn.